They're just sitting there ruining my life like if it's okay I have to recover.

They act like problems won't go away and that it's okay if they're for a joke and last forever, really..

Ellen DeGeneres tries to say it's okay, like others. Well, I don't have to agree, that people can be mean to me and I can't get mad.

They said this lady started really admitting to doing these mean things to me and get mad if I don't like it.

They keep ruining my life, and it's not simple. They're just trashing life.

They said Ellen DeGeneres was doing these mean things.

They keep abusing me, like thinking it's fascinating to me to dwell on if people can change "who ya are." They pose there like they did it, and I can't get it to stop registering as something of essence to me.

Winding Down ... or Not

I want to wind down, and they bring news when I load the page to chat.

The Goal Since 2005?

Everyone is acting up, so what am I getting out of this, pain and suffering? Torment and torture?

I can't do what I want in private in how I've been watched, and there seems to be no alternative. They keep "hush hush" about why and I forget when they distract me and get mad.

They're just testing me to see how much I can take and it's been 17 years since they started talking to me like this.

More and more, I can't get it out of my life.. It's affecting me more and more, like I can't take it and don't deserve anything I wanted etc.

What is the function of this? It seems like they might just be bothering me so I can't work or feel good. I have to pay bills and don't have as long left to even live, let alone people getting away dying who are older or retired or something, with nothing for me that I wanted as much and with problems to deal with, instead, because of them. Everyone just creeps around here wary of death and making you feel worried about getting closer to them and further from those that can nurture you. You see Late Baby Boomers complaining about it, etc., that their parents are getting old and dying with the rest of their generation and they don't have that to go to, anymore. So, same for me, except I wanted to enjoy my life while I can and be a good citizen when everyone is old or dead.

Withheld

If I have to work 2 jobs to pay off my debt okay or faster, it seems I'm being bothered again at yet another critical time, when I need to make it to the shower etc. and to bed. They just keep acting confusing and leading me astray getting in my head, like it happened in Orlando. They just keep going, like I have to do it.

I don't really work tomorrow, but what if I did? I just did violin for an hour and 1 minute and am listening to it.

They are trying to make excuses to override me and affect my violin playing and tease me and act stupid like they did it.

If I try to act comfortably, they just keep bugging me until I can't get it out of my head and then they act stupid and blame me and keep going for a long time.

They've developed a scheme in which they disrupt me at their convenience and then say they are the perfect one etc., that they don't do shit.